FAQ’s on fertility questions and getting pregnant in your 30’s

Biological clocks, fertility fear-mongering, and withering womb syndrome! These are all fears pushed out into society for 30-something women that are either: 1. Single or 2. Without Child. 

I happen to have the most “deadly” combination of the two equaling = 3. Single and unmarried WITHOUT child (gasp)! 

I’m hoping to break these stigmas to show that my life IS NOT as scary as society tells me it’ll be. I want to empower my own timeline and journey, and by doing that, I’m I highly considering getting my eggs frozen in the next year. 

I wanted to educate myself on the process and share what I learned with you because I was tired of talking about it with friends and not really understanding how it works. Seriously, is egg freezing the new botox chat?!

This Q & A will try try to cover different viewpoints and experiences so it hits home for all sorts of women. I hope it helps ease your stress about timelines and “how much time we have left.” This will equip you with more knowledge about your fertility #knowledgeispower. Please know this is from my personal research and viewpoint and I’m not a medical doctor.

The Prep:

Q: What’s the 1st step?

A: Ask your Gyno to run a hormone panel for your AHA levels and FSH levels. If they have the capability to do so, they will also do vaginal ultrasound to look at your follicle count. You can also make a consultation with an egg freezing clinic to do all of this but it can be more costly. Make sure to ask your health insurance first if anything can be covered - some will do so!

Q: Who’s a good candidate?

A: This is such a personal choice. I suggest going to your doctor to check if you have low hormone levels FIRST and discuss your fertility plan and what your options are before leading to any conclusions or worrying.

Q: How does your age impact age freezing?

A: There are actually many studies out there that show your ability to get pregnant from late 20’s to mid 30’s has only a 4-6% approx drop!

• Obstetrics & Gynecology in 2004 examined the chances of pregnancy among 770 European women.  This study found that with sex at least twice a week, 82% of 35-39-year-old women conceived within a year, compared to 86% of 27-34-year-olds.

• In a study published in 2013, led by Kenneth Rothman of Boston University, they followed 2,820 Danish women as they tried to get pregnant. Among women having sex during their fertile times, 78% of 35-to-40-year-olds got pregnant within a year, compared with 84% of 20-to-34-year-olds.

• This article from The Atlantic, “How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby” says that media and society is “overselling” this infertile fear to women in their 30’s. Highly recommend!!

That said, it’s important to also know that the ability to get pregnant is different from the health and quality of your eggs.

As you pass the mid 30 mark, the viability of your eggs decrease…which is why this is SUCH A TRICKY decision. You may get pregnant but will this impact the health of your eggs? Research shows that if you have healthy hormone levels and follicles in your mid-30’s you still have a 85%+ percentage of getting pregnant. Here is more information on this very topic that I recommend reading, “The Age When You Freeze: Understanding the Implications and Tradeoffs.”

Q: Is there an age cut off or a “right time”?

A: There is no perfect age to get your eggs frozen, although most clinics will recommend freezing earlier than later for better quality embryos. The average age in the U.S. is 37*, and many clinics recommend doing it before 40. It’s important to note it’s VERY specific to your body and multiple factors need to be taken into account including your hormone levels and antral follicle (resting follicle) count. I know some women that had to get it done in their 20’s, and some women at 37 with a healthy retrieval!

Q: How do I stop comparing myself to my married friends with kids and feeling that I’ve fallen short?

A: When we compare ourselves with others, we are taking a reference point on our personal journey and comparing it with someone else’s journey that has several different reference points. It’s a completely unfair, and I’m going argue illogical comparison - so remember that. 

Q: How do I pick the right Doctor or Clinic?

A: This is an individual choice, but I think it’s important to look for:

• A Doctor who you feel comfortable and trust, go with your gut if the atmosphere feels right. (I think it’s like choosing a therapist, sometimes you have to speak with a few before you find the “right one” for you.

• Inquire about their pricing structure on the following:

  • Initial consultation

  • Monitoring during stimulation (blood tests and ultrasounds)

  • Medicine

  • Egg retrieval (including Doctor and Anesthesiologist fees)

  • Annual storage fees (first year is often free)

  • Second cycle discount (if applicable)

• Ask about their success rate on IVF statistics; the thawed embryo transfer rates are important because several of the new clinics have very few woman that have used their eggs since this is a newer science. The following info is from eggsurance.com on this: “While favorable IVF results do not translate linearly to egg freezing success, they can nevertheless provide a snapshot of a clinic’s overall expertise and experience. After all, egg freezing can be likened to the first half of an IVF cycle.” A few things to look out for when reviewing the data:

  • Age of patients – Success rates will be skewed higher the younger the patient population

  • Number of transfers – These results can serve as a good indication of a clinic’s IVF experience

  • Number of embryos transferred – More embryos transferred equals more likelihood of pregnancy and multiple births

  • Percentage of transfers resulting in live births – Or baby rate is perhaps the most important piece of data

Q: What’s the approximate cost?

A: It varies from city to city but I’ve found that it’s $10-20k. If you work at corporate company like (Facebook, Google, etc) they might cover it - ask your HR. Otherwise, it’s usually an out of pocket expense if you don’t have any existing health concerns surrounding your fertility. Make sure to always inquire about the cost of hormone medications as they often they are not included in the pricing bundle.

Q: Is it more affordable outside of the U.S?

A: Yes! If you listen to my podcast below, you’ll learn a story about a woman that’s getting it done at IVI (the world’s largest reproductive group) for 1/4 of the price around $3-4k.

Q: How does being on birth control effect egg freezing?

A: It’s up to every individual but some women have to go off birth control a few months prior. Others have to get on it to regulate their cycle first. I personally have an IUD and the good news is those can stay in because they do not impact your ovulation cycle (phew!). It can be an adjustment for your sex life so make sure to plan ahead of time and ask your doctor more about this.

Q: Does your diet and lifestyle need to change beforehand?

A: There is no “egg freezing diet”. But, you will find countless blogs that say certain vitamins and nutritional choices can make a difference with a successful retrieval. My podcast tells a story about a woman that took a clean eating route before her process and she yielded a higher than expected egg count. That is completely circumstantial to her own body though, so I’d say it’s up to you!

Q: How many eggs do I need to get for a baby?

A: The hope is to retrieve around 10-15+ eggs during the process, but this can vary depending on a woman’s age. Not all eggs will be “mature” i.e. make it through the freezing process to be viable for IVF.

The Process

Q: What’s a visual breakdown of the process?

A: Here’s a simple and informative chart:

Q: When should you start the process?

A: The process begins on your second or third day of your menstrual cycle. They say with taking your hormone tests and planning around your period, it can take 2+ months according to your Dr’s plan for you.

Q: Do the injection shots hurt?

A: The needles are subcutaneous – which means they go right below the skin and not into the muscle. It’s typically not painful but there might be slight discomfort when the medicine goes in. All 4 women I spoke to about this said it was much easier than they thought it would be.

Q: What are common emotional and physical side effects?

A: Some common side effects I’ve heard include weight gain (which goes away after the process is over), abdominal discomfort or sometimes “feeling your ovaries” but not with any pain, bloating and feeling emotional. Inherently, the process is emotional so all of my podcast guests said that a lot of their emotions were due to thinking about the process non-stop for two weeks, but less so because of the actual medicine.

Q: Can you workout during or after the procedure?

A: No. They say you should wait until you have your next period after the procedure, so about two more weeks. You also can’t workout during, so plan for about one month of no “workout” activity.

Q: I’m really worried about the bloating, is there anything I can do to prevent it?

A: Online articles seem to say drinking a lot of water can help reduce it. Also, taking whey protein powder may help?My personal advice, is to remember it’s just temporary and take advantage of working out and exercising beforehand so you feel good about your body going into it.

Q: What’s the egg retrieval procedure like?

A: According to the women I’ve interviewed, many say it was one of the easiest parts. You go under anesthesia and your doctor uses an ultrasound guided needle attached to a catheter to remove the eggs from each of your ovaries. The procedure lasts under and hour and doesn’t leave you with scars, stitches, or heavy bleeding.

Q: How long is the whole process?

A: Typically, it ranges from 12-14 days. Everyone takes the medicine differently and it’s a bespoke process based upon your bloodwork and ultrasounds. Doctors will up or down your medicine to make sure your follicles are producing the right amount of eggs for you. The actual retrieval process is a little under an hour. Most patients are fine to resume their normal life the next day, except for working out.

Post procedure:

Q: When can I go back to normal?

A: Many women said they resumed normal life the next day. You can not work out for two weeks (until your next period) but besides that you’re back to normal!

Q: How long can your eggs be stored?

A: Doctors differ but you’ll find online that many say around 10 years, while others say indefinitely if they’re stored correctly. There are still studies needed to be done to show the efficacy of frozen eggs 10+ years.

Q: How can I use my eggs to get pregnant when I’m ready?

A: The eggs will be thawed and fertilized with sperm. The embryos are then transferred into your uterus for implantation. This will be an additional cost upwards of $15k+

Q: What’s a good online resource to learn more in-depth info?

A: I think www.fertilityIQ.com is amazing and informative!

summary + Podcast:

Each day I continue to push myself to gain emotional strength and find joy living my own story. The purpose of @thirtywaves is to inspire you to do the same. Below is the podcast (available on iTunes and Spotify) detailing four unique experiences broken up in 20-minute segments:

1. Noor, 35 - Has done it 4x times and fertilized eggs with her partner

2. Joelle, 34 - Had low AHA but had a successful retrieval in NYC

3. Misty, 34 - Getting it done in Spain for 1/4 of the price in the U.S. at the world’s biggest reproductive clinic

4. Brianna, 34 - Going through it single and and how it’s changed her dating life and empowered her independence.